Stories During Covid-19 - Painting a Picture and an INFJ Approach

*Note on Anam Cara. Our book study is on a holiday break so I will post remaining chapters at a later date.*

Important: In this post I am quoting other people's experiences and stories during Covid and the many views presented. Due to the volatile times we are in- I am keeping their identities anonymous.  This is not a cut and dry topic. There are so many differing stories...Could they all be true even though they are different? Why do we doubt one over the other? These are just the few LATEST of the MANY differing correspondences I receive. Some are local, others are global perspectives. 

" I have sadly been dealing with several deaths of my older friends (fondly called the Ancients in our circles)  right here in St. Louis.  I have lost TEN friends and acquaintances from back in NYC...old professors who would NOT stop riding the subway, and caught the virus from that contact, so we surmise.  Have dealt with that (including retrieving a body from one of the meat trucks used to house cadavers in the early days of the wave that hit NYC by PHONE.  Had to get one of the prisoners who were loading the dead to go into different cold trucks and find the toe tag of the "lost" elderly chum.  That way was able to arrange for him to be buried privately as he had planned, and NOT in the mass graves dug in one the islands in the NYS harbor."  It is like living on the edge of hell.  The two ancients here caught the virus."

"Covid has been deadly for people.. and in the beginning they mistreated lots of people thinking ventilators would help ect. when it was hurting some. Also saw stories of nurses saying they watched doctors literally not care and kill people ( in New York) just making stupid human errors."

"Thanks Kmarie, for your good wishes. I am glad that you and your family is safe. The situation is very difficult indeed. We are also confined to home and people are also fined for stepping outside home ( beyond 2 kms). My husband is still working from home. Schools, educational institutions are still closed. My brother had 50% salary cut at first and finally, lost his job as our nation's economic situation is bad right now yet slowly recovering. Situation improved a bit but after major festival season ( in October- November) many people went out in crowds to celebrate and it led to more spread and contamination. Shortage of hospital beds, medical facilities and added pressure/ risk on healthcare workers forced our government to take strong steps and introduce some regulatory measures."

"My mom has worked on nursing homes for the past twenty years and she says every year they loose almost half of their residents from common cold or flu because end on life even the simplest things ones body can’t handle. My mom said that this past year has been so hard on the residents and she has seen SO much depression and quick regression with dementia patients because they aren’t getting that family support they desperately need. She said people are dying very sad... she has called residents family members and told them that their family members are close to death and that if they actually want to be with them for the last days they needed to pull them out and have them at home because of covid protocals for a long time no one was allowed to see their families."

"I  think we are at the point that we all know covid can be dangerous... now it’s up to the individual to live in a way that is authentic to them.. if you are wanting to stay closed up then stay that way... of you need to socialize and others are willing then socialize. Ect."

“I had covid and while it was minor for many of my friends I am grateful for the nurses who knew to give my oxygen and helped my body fight. I am so thankful for healthcare."

"Yes, there are a lot of factors. Some nurses were laid off too, early on. And then they also close a whole unit with one positive case, so they have staff assigned to that unit only, which makes them unable to help out in other departments. Where I think staff are being overworked is probably in LTC homes. The cleaning and having to gown and mask up thoroughly between patients is probably taxing. Then again, some care homes the people are being totally neglected, so it's so hard to say what is really happening."

"Some people say "my friend, or my sister, or someone I know works as a nurse in Calgary/ Edmonton and they are swamped"! The thing is the hospitals are being poorly managed, as usual. Covid has made it worse than normal,  but by no means are hospitals overwhelmed at this point yet in many cases. At least in my area it is still pretty empty. Despite what the news says."

"As a practicing nurse, I can not say much for fear of my job but I will say that many of these protocols are damaging at the least and some things are being mis- reported."

"I can’t even speak this side without being completely censored but I am seeing discrepancies in health care. Those of us whom want to both be careful but the individual needs of our patients have many concerns."

"It’s very scary...there is deep division happening with a lot of stuff right now. It boggles my mind how the side that is pro v*ccine isn’t capable of looking at the other side. Good science would require you to do so and science is never settled." 

My note on this- Think back to the "Science" and ads in the 1950's when they said "abestos" is healthy for the home. Where would we be if the scientific process of questioning and challenging was not in continuous motion? Think of the bloodletting for fevers...There are so many examples from history where it was clearly wrong but the ones who called it or questioned it were seen as occultists, crazies or not worth listening to. Until later it was proven and considered mainstream and those people were still not thanked as they moved on to questioning other aspects. See picture below:

"My general mindset is that I firmly believe in lockdown and quarantine protocols."

"I consider myself far left but yeah, I don’t doubt that’s what’s going on, but I think we are being distracted by blaming it on either side.There are many videos and cases of this. Two sides of the government are at war right now- especially here in the States but it seems to be a global pattern."

"So much suffering. A county near us has had 10 suicides already this year and they rarely see suicide. There is no easy way to say a life is more valuable over another. I’m not sure that came out right... like is the life lost to suicide less worthy then the life lost to covid ?... I think we are going to look back on this historically and we are going to grieve and see the wrong steps that where made in the name of “health” and “preservation.'"

These are just a few examples of the myriad amount of stories and perspectives (within only my circles!)  at this time. It is NOT cut and dry. We are not all in the same boat. Some of us are dealing with similar aspects or protocols in certain places but even the virus affects different people differently. Luckily, with a 99.9 survival rate, it is much better than many other instances in history thus far. The deaths are still sad, as any deaths are. The risks are still real. But I hear many people summing up the tragedy of 2020 as strictly the year. Or that ultimately Covid is the problem. But what if it is ALSO how we are responding? What if it is our protocols that also make each death in isolation so tragic? What if...since the rates are low for certain populations to die...what if we allowed those healthy populations the CHOICE to see their dying loved ones if they washed and wore a mask but knew the risks? What if we allowed the elderly their visitors IF they decide the risks are worth it for them? Some will and some will not. What if we made it easier for those who choose to stay isolated indefinitely because they do not want to chance it? What if we didn't force testing on anyone presenting colds ect but those who are severe or needing different medical help? What if we supported the body and gave people the knowledge on how to stay home while sick, but be their best selves with the best chance of beating it? What if, we only mandated protocols on the places that actually had problems staffing their hospitals and allowing this to change? Many hospitals that are swamped initially then become empty...what if we went with more of a flexible flow approach? Of course this is way more complex but what if we chose to not guise fear as "protection." Fear leads to many wrong calls. We must not makes choices out of fear but out of balanced, contextual accounts.

Personally, my personality as an INFJ will naturally challenge and question protocols - it's what I am born to do ( see memes below.) It's why I am not popular but fine with it. It is why certain friendships of mine ebb and flow depending on the agreeableness of current events. (If they agree mostly they like me questioning but then a few years later if I am questioning the side they take then obviously this won't be the most favourite trait to them:) It's also why my friendship group can vary dramatically and why I can maintain friendships that are opposing in almost all of their viewpoints. Sometimes it hurts feelings that I can be friends with someone on the opposites side of such an important standard to someone. It can come across as fake or a sort of duplicity...but it's honestly that I see validity in both and can relate in different manners. I understand that it's tough to understand. INFJ's make up less than 2 percent of the population which is a good thing. It is just enough to have people out there that do what I do ...as it is needed too...but not enough to drive the main populace which would probably spell out disaster. I have INFJ's who completely disagree with me on certain things so we are not all the same in what we question. The meme below is true that I often question my own sanity due to the accusations that can be thrown my way or the people I sometimes lose in the process. But I also need to still grow, challenge and BE.

I don't believe that my way is the only way. Or I have all the answers...far from it. The more perspectives I see, the more questions I often have. For my own sanity, I do come to a few of my own conclusions but I never force them on others. I do however, get severely irritated at those whom refuse to consider at the very least. Or acknowledge there ARE other repercussions, ways to live, or ways to BE. In any political, social, emotional, physical or spiritual ways of being people in ANY mindset can still afford to flexibly consider the other. 

I am so lucky to have the friends that I do...recently I told a friend about my latest blog post and warning her that it may be upsetting for her but explaining why I wrote it...she wrote back; 

"Ok dear. I will try to focus on your blog posts which addresses general topics and ignore the ones which may elicit a strong response from me. I will focus on our friendship instead and all the common things that we shared and not where our opinions are opposite/ different. Take care, 💕💖"

If only we could resolve some deeper issue with that much grace. If only we could address contextual differences honestly but then focus on the similarities for the healing part. Because differences MATTER. We are not all the same. Our medical history is not the same. Our reactions to vaccines are not the same. Our ability to wear masks are not the same. Our beliefs are not the same. Our toleration of being alone are not the same. We NEED to make different choices. But where we are the same -are our hearts to prevent pain where we can, protect those we love, honour the grief of those who are different, and be in gratitude for those who can make us feel less crazy about our differences.  Maybe then we will be a little bit more tolerant of the outliers, rebels or the followers or sheep ( whichever side we feel we fall on more although we all have a bit of each in us.) 

Song Choice: The Lakes- Taylor Swift 

We are the World- Michael Jackson and Ensemble