For the Sake of Our Children: The New Instagram User Agreement/ Alternatives to Media Privacy Violators/ Why we Left Instagram/ The Social Dilemma/ Dealing with Withdrawal and Grief

 

Why We Left Instagram/ The NEW USER INSTAGRAM AGREEMENT:

I was censored on Instagram for sharing my last post below (Stories from Covid.) It was simply an image without hashtags, nor words. On the bottom it told people to go to the government website for accurate information. That was one of my wake up calls.

I read the new terms of Instagram's User Agreement a month ago and knew I would not be able to stand by it...but what to do about it?  Not only do they have access to other devices around your app device, but they have "ownership" of your user name and any of your content. They can access banking, your messages ( and it states that they can get into disputes on your messaging) and censor or modify your content. They also state that you can't sue and if you do you are agreeing to only 100 dollar settlement if you use their site. There is no accountability. On cell phone agreements there is still a higher law that the company is called to. We CAN demand better privacy. There ARE other sites that honour privacy to a degree. Facebook/ What's App/ Twitter/YOUTUBE/ TIK TOK and Instagram have similar privacy agreements. Even though it is boring- it is important to read what you consent to. Also, by using the apps you ARE agreeing. In my mind that is not true consent. Consent should be a box checked or an actual action. 

How to Leave Instagram

Our family is leaving Instagram as of January. First we wanted to say goodbye, get contact information and download our data. To do this go into your account> Security> Download Data> Email Request. Then wait a few days for your download to your computer of your photos and history. Post your last post and give it a few days for people to see and then DE ACTIVATE. 

Alternatives to Instagram/ Facebook ect:

https://opensource.com/article/19/1/open-source-social-media-alternatives

This article gives a few alternatives like Mastadon (click) and PixelfedSocial (click)which currently honour privacy and do not change the algorithm or use TARGETED data collecting ads. (As with anything, it is important every year or so to keep up on the terms of use. That COULD change.) I've also heard platforms like Parlour or Mewe have more free speech laws but I have also heard negative aspects of them. However, I do believe that WE make the change. If a platform that allows free speech turns to hate- we CAN go on and make it better if it's the users that are the problem. But if the platform is the problem - that is an entirely different matter.  

If you decide to go on a new platform try to connect or bring in at least two people with you for support. That way the appeal will be there. It is hard work to adjust to anything new. We need to transform the demanding, addictive technology back into a tools based one. We should be using our platforms as helpful tools to enhance our lives, not take away from them. 

" There are only two industries that call their consumers "users" -illegal drugs and software."- Edward Tufte

The Social Dilemma:

"It is the gradual, slight, imperceptible change in your own behaviour and perception to that IS the product." You ARE the product on these "free sites." Netflix has a docu drama called "The Social Dilemma" . Some people are opposed to it because Netflix is it's platform and I had similar concerns, however I felt that I could use critical thinking to balance out what was needed. It IS filmed in a drama documentary way and at first seems alarming, however, I was impressed as it went on, how positive it actually became. The points made were important and crucial to consider. The critics and outliers of society are the people who are actually optimistic for hopeful change. The previous CEOs of all these companies ( facebook/ twitter/youtube/ instagram) make important points. The information presented is grounded in experience, data, and proof. 

"The biggest obstacle to growing and using online communities is getting people to move to them. Without growth, the services will go the way of MySpace and other sites that came before or after Facebook. We create our online communities, and if we can use open source, ethical, and privacy-respecting platforms, the internet and our lives will benefit greatly." (taken from HERE) 

FOR PARENTS and CAREGIVERS:

Since 2011 U.S. Hospital admissions for Non Fatal self harm for girls 10-14 has gone up 189 percent! 189! For girls ages 15-19 it has gone up 62 percent since 2009. It's up TRIPLE. 

Since 2010 the US suicide rates for teenage girls has gone up 151 percent in the 10-14 age range in comparison to the national average from 2001-2010. That IS the influence of social media. That is just for the USA.  FOr teen girls ages 15-19 it has gone up 70 percent. Do we want our preteens and teens subjected to this??

We are viewing The Social Dilemma"  with our teenage children. However, we have paused it occasionally to discuss and explain with them. There is ONE part I will not be showing my sensitive viewers. That is from the time stamp of 1:06 to 1:12 ( just fill in the blanks you wish to fill.) If your children make the brave and very tough decision to go off some social media platforms, applaud, reward and support them. Even as an adult, I am going through some legitimate grief. I enjoyed many aspects. We are MEANT to share. We are meant to have community and look for approval in our tribes. However, we are not meant to look for approval from hundreds or even thousands at a time. 

Your child WILL go through withdrawal, boredom, temptation, isolation and grief. During Covid this is especially prominent. It is why I feel it is important to still offer alternatives to connection. The alternatives I have thought of thus far: Texting, phoning, sharing private home videos on Vimeo, sharing pictures on a private or public blogs, picking slower but still privacy respecting media alternatives like Pixelfed or Mastadon above ect. Also engage with them personally a bit more. Take them sledding, skating or out for a walk. Connect in conversation. Allow a bit more video gaming initially or movie viewing ( for a time period.) Encourage them to find two friends who can view the Social Dilemma too and discuss. Encourage them to find a few friends who are committed to finding new ways to connect.  Use DUCK DUCK Go for searches instead of GOOGLE. It will not appeal to your history or give you targeted subliminal messaging the same way google does. Be active with them and give them more attention for the first 30 days at least.

I would also recommend that you encourage old skool ways of viewing shows instead of YOUTUBE. If you DO use Youtube, search via DUCK DUCK GO and monitor usage. "There is this narrative that says we will just adapt to this or learn to live with these things but there is something newer going on here we have never dealt with in history before... our brains have not evolved to this fast pace yet..." ( The Social Dilemma"  )

For Pre teens/ Teens or Children Who Wish to Make a Change:

The Internet is here to stay. It’s like the wild west. It took years to get free from lawlessness to vigilante to law and order to civilized ethics. The wild west mattered and it’s beautiful because different people demanded more. Person by person it began to change. The way social media is can change but we must cause that change. People do still have the patterns and intelligence to change the larger AI systems. We do! It’s just a matter of choice and balance. Social media can be beautiful. We were meant to share. Just not with hundreds or thousands which affect our brains and our stress levels. We are meant to find new people to inspire and influence us and the Internet is a great tool. But we also have a responsibility to what we agreed to. It’s very tricky. 

To the youth whom I know: You will make the most difference! You are tomorrow! You do not need a platform to make the world beautiful. But if you must have one- choose it wisely. You are the ones whose suicide rates are unprecedented in history. You are the ones whose anxiety has been up since 2009. YOU are the ones whom this matters the most to and I wish to reach some of you because YOU MATTER. We care about protecting you. In older TV programs there were laws on what was advertised to children. We protected the rights of children and what they saw, but with YOUTUBE etc. those laws are out the window. 

Ask your parents or two good friends for support. If you have no one to support you, reach out to me at worldwecreate@gmail.com. I will be happy to discuss the film The Social Dilemma"  with you ( and recommend if you are sensitive to skip time stamp of 1:06 to 1:12 . ) I will try to support you and encourage you if you are lonely or down. You can email me and we can set that up if you have no one. Your self worth and identity MATTER. "We have not evolved to be aware of social approval being put on us on a daily basis"...especially from more than even thirty people. It's insanity that way. "It's fake, short term, brittle popularity that leaves you empty and vacant..." Try to get outside if you can. When Covid is over try to join more clubs/ social events/ local outdoor things. Learn to watch videos with friends WITHOUT having your phone around. Visit with friends without using your device and see how much deeper it can be. Read books and discuss. Start a blog or a private place only a few supportive loved ones can view your thoughts and pictures. Choose platforms that respect your privacy and do not rely on constant feeds, targeted ads or constant likes. If you love photography migrate to a better photography website or try PIXELFED SOCIAL or something different. Use an actual camera instead of your phone and leave your phone at home or in a separate room when you are engaged in other activities. Use your phone for emergencies, driving and out on errands but leave it for walks and take your camera instead. 

FINAL THOUGHTS/ POLARIZATION OF SOCIETY/ WE ARE NOT SEEING THE SAME THINGS:

Do you want to engage constantly with an entity that knows a lot about you but you don't know it at all? Do you want to give your rights to something that can predict your behaviour, know whom you are within a radius mile too ect? There ARE wonderful aspects of technology. I love it for finding important directions, the camera ( although I am thinking of going back to a singular camera to have my phone on me less), texting occasionally and phoning. I am glad though that I still have a landline. I am happy to still have time limits on my computer. I am thankful that I have stopped getting junk email or random emails. I am glad I can connect to people globally in a way that is quicker than snail mail. I DO feel we need to explore and make connections that are new and inspiring. It is fun to find products that suit us. But we don't need more...we actually now need less. A few less connections is not dire. Less stuff is not the end of the world. Less connection that is frail and empty is actually more. 

Turn OFF your notifications. Get your attention back.

"Where you happen to google from, even of two friends who are so close to each other whom have the same friends, think that they will go to google and see the same set of updates...that is untrue. Each person has their own reality, with their own facts... We accept the reality of the world to which we are presented. We get the false sense that everyone agrees with us...once you are in that state you are easy to be manipulated. That is how Facebook works and google works...THEY are in charge of your newsfeed. You are no longer able to consume information that is contradictory to what you are consuming...you begin to look at the other side and think, "How can those people be so stupid? How can they not see all this information that is on my feed?" But the fact is they are NOT seeing the same things you are. " (The Social Dilemma) 

This is causing a grave polarization in politics, life and could eventually lead to civil war if we do not recognize this and change our patterns. The algorithm can change behaviours by feeding us what we think we are aligned with ( an example is Pizza Gate.) "Fake news spreads 6 times faster than true news. "- Social Dilemma 

What does that mean for our future? Where is the shared understanding of reality? AI can not solve the problem of fake news. It’s a program. It doesn’t know what “truth” is. We need to begin to agree and interact. It begins with us.

“There I am with the phone scrolling, texting. clicking…Where is the existential threat? It’s not about the technology being the existential threat. It’s the technologies ability to bring out the worst in society. And the worst in society being the existential threat…If technology creates mass chaos, outrage, instability, lack of trust in each other, loneliness, alienation, more polarization, more election hacking, more populism, more distraction and inability to focus on the real issues, that’s just society and now society is incapable of healing itself and devolving into a kind of chaos. This affects everyone even if you do not use these products…we have to have the platforms become responsible… This is not going away…the AI is gonna get better at what keeps us on the screen not less...”- Tristan the Social Dilemma. 

“If we go down the current situation for the next 20 years we will probably degrade the democracies as we know it and ruin the global economy… it really is existential.”- The Social Dilemma 

“How do you wake up fro the matrix when you don’t know you are in the matrix?”- Tristan Social Dilemma “A lot of what we are saying sounds like doom and gloom…no it’s confusing because it’s simultaneously utopia and dystopia."

“These are choices that human beings have been making and human beings can change those technologies…”- The Social Dilemma

We can demand more. We can do better. "It's the critics that drive improvement. It is the critics whom are the true optimists." 

“The miracle is collective will."

 (Many people who created this tech don’t let their kids use it or have screen time. Think about that. The CREATORS don’t allow their children on devices or have strict rules. They do not allow Social media until aged 16 at least and work out time budgets.) Just getting a few people to delete their accounts MATTERS. 

Technology is here to stay but how we use it, consume it, or even choose to stay with certain programs because it makes our lives easier, MATTERS. We have to change our patterns, find better platforms, find a balance between making it a tool for us and living our lives. Look around. There is beauty. There is a lot that is positive. It is not all dire. We can make a change.

There is a lot of beauty out there! Go and live it!

NOTE: If I come up with new sites or anyone else does- check the comments:) I am also thinking of posting just pictures and quotes sometimes as blog posts in lieu of Instagram. My husband pointed out if I do about 2 hours of blogging every two weeks ( posting and reading others blogs) I am still 80 percent less in time, clicking and scrolling in comparison! 

Song Choice: Man in the Mirror - Michael Jackson Vimeo has better privacy setting than youtube- case in point below:) but watch it there!

Michael Jackson - Man In The Mirror (Official Video) from moseleyscience on Vimeo.