Atimese: Guest Post: The ENFJ Personality Type From the Eyes of a Young Teen

Sunday, May 6, 2018

Guest Post: The ENFJ Personality Type From the Eyes of a Young Teen

*This is a guest post by my young ENFJ daughter, writing about some of her experiences.* Enjoy!

Some ENFJs might not totally agree with me on this post. There are so many other things that play a part in personality. For instance, I'm a Gemini, an Aspie, and I struggle with OCD Anxiety so all of these things could play into what I write. Just keep that in mind.

The ENFJ personality is Extrovert, Intuitive, Feeling, and Judging. The functional stack can be found HERE.

In my opinion the ENFJ is one of the least talked about personalities. Typically as an ENFJ, I am either focusing on other types, or I want to be nice and listen to other types first. For me, if I bring up my type I feel like I'm being self absorbed or not thinking about the peoples types around me, which I tell myself ''I should be doing.''

I always find it funny that on films or media, sometimes nice people are made fun of. Like when we make fun of Canada, Hufflepuff, (both of which I belong to) and in this case the ENFJ. The part that I find even more funny is that we get so exited that we are even mentioned. I don't think this should be. I mean it's fine... every so often, but I would like to be talked about in a real, positive way too. So that's what I'm going to do here. I'm going to put the ENFJ in the spotlight.

The spotlight is something that the ENFJ likes very much. Definitely not in a bad "self absorbed seeking" way and not for too long... We want others to get complimented and treated nicely too. Adjust that light on me sometimes and I will appreciate you a lot. I will probably even think about you for at least three days. Normally after an interaction like that most Extroverts will be on a high. Yup, I know it's crazy that a few really nice compliments will cause us to be thrilled. Even if we have a 'not so great time' you can bet we'll go home a little more happy then before we saw you.

ENFJs are really caring and will go out of our way to make sure other people are happy. It makes us happy to help people. This can be a good thing but also can be negative. In these moments we won't be thinking about ourselves at all. We don't want to risk somehow making the other person uncomfortable. For example if I'm at someone's house and it's hot - I'm not going to bring it up. I figure if you are overly warm, you would've said something so you must be comfortable. This isn't always the case. If I'm at a house that I feel comfortable in, I might tell you what I'm feeling, but that's only if I'm really suffering or you're my family.

ENFJ's are probably one of the most feeling types. I go through a million emotions a day. (But I am also a teenager.) I would even say that ENFJs are sort of like empaths. My mom is an empath type too but as an INFJ, she is my sister type. We meet in the middle of emotion. ENFJs are very intuitive to other peoples emotions and can almost sense what they are feeling. For me it's a curse and a blessing. Its hard to balance people's feelings and your own. If somebody is crying, it's most likely I'm going to start crying too. My family always jokes that I cry at least once a day which is close to true. I would say I cry every three days. My mom and my INTJ brother barely ever cry and if they do it breaks my heart. If they cry it means they're at a very fragile state. Crying is how I release all the stuff that's bothered me, made me mad, or upset me in some form. Lots of people think this is ridiculous but I'm totally fine crying. After I cry I'll feel better and like I can let go of everything I was upset about before.

I always say if there were a show to go to the ENFJ personality it would be ''Dreamworks' Trolls - The Beat Goes On.'' I know it's a weird show but the values and rules are everything I believe in. When I first watched ''Trolls'' (the movie) I loved it when the Trolls bracelets glowed and they had to stop what they where doing and hug whoever was next to them. Hugs mean a lot to me. I feel like everybody needs hugs.

The song hair in the air (from ''The Beat Goes On'') is a song that's totally me. These are the lyrics '' Live it up (Hey!) Everyday you wake up singing. Turn it up (Whoo!) the party's just beginning. All together, you and me. Hair in the air, we're family. We got everything we need.''- ''Yeah, we made it through the dark. Harmony is everywhere put your hair up in the air.''- Dreamworks Trolls: The Beat Goes On theme song.

The harmony part of the song is my favourite part. Harmony is an important topic to ENFJs. Disrupting the harmony is something that will annoy the ENFJ. We work very hard to create harmony and keep it as long as possible, so if anyone disrupts it they will be on the bad side of the ENFJ.
Honestly, the bad side of the ENFJ is not that horrible. We will be mad at you but we'll most likely keep it in (unless you are family then you might get glares, yelled at, tears or all of the above). If we do blowup on you, it's likely that we'll say sorry pretty soon after. We put up with quite a bit so if we get mad it's because you have done or said something (that to us) is really unacceptable. Even if we do get mad though we'll try very hard to keep it as under control as we can.

This picture above describes the ENFJ very well. I'll start with lively. We love having fun, talking, parties, and more. My friend always jokes that I'm ''always happy." I am when people are around. ENFJs are very alive, out there, and will almost always have a smile on their face.

Worrier. I've been called this on many occasions. I worry all the time about random things. If I go out and see people I worry if I'm going to say the right or wrong thing. Even at home I worry I did something bad if someone says my name in a certain way. Its just what I do.

Optimistic. I am very optimistic if I want to be and I'll try to make other people optimistic too. I mean come on, it feels good to be optimistic.

Oversensitive. Even just today I've been called oversensitive a few times. For me I'm more sensitive to tone. So if someone says something that to me sounds harsh I will feel upset. I admit I do have to work on it a bit. ENFJ themselves will mock this trait. But it is something that makes us who we are and we shouldn't be ashamed of it.

Now I'm going to go over the ''unhealthy'' ENFJ. When we are unhealthy we will be very hard on ourselves and almost no one can get us out of our slump. This (as Personality Hacker describes) is the Three Year Old process witch is Accuracy. We want to be so accurate that we will think we aren't doing good enough. Another thing I learned from personality hacker is that it's also unhealthy if your Driver (Harmony) goes to your Ten year old process (Sensation) for advice. I don't know too much about this but if you want to learn more you could listen to Personality Hacker podcasts. Click HERE. to listen to the loops that certain personalities can get stuck in.

CLICK HERE for a list of famous ENFJs online. Here's a list of the people who I think are ENFJs or I saw online that I thought were interesting:
Emma Watson (Actress, Feminist), Emma Stone (Actress), Julia Andrews (Actress), Jennifer Lawrence (Actress), Oprah Winfrey (Talk host, Self Help), Helena Bonham Carter (Actress), Faramir (Lord of the Rings), Bofer (The Hobbit), Peeta Mellark (The Hunger Games), Snow White (Once Upon A Time), Uncle Iroh and Katara (Avatar the Last Airbender), Asami (Legend of Kora), Poppy (Dreamworks Trolls), Lilly Potter and Cedric Digory (Harry Potter), Katy Perry (Singer), Sara Bareilles (Singer), Barack Obama (Former President of the United States), Leslie Knope (Parks and Recreation). For bad guys there's not much (because, hey, we are pretty much angels.:) but there are some things that are saying that Loki (Marvel) is an ENFJ or INFJ and Hans from frozen.
If you have any questions as to why these characters are ENFJs or any questions about the ENFJ then just leave a comment and I'll try my best to answer them.

There is so much more that makes up the ENFJ. We are special and unique in our own way. I hope this gave you a little bit more knowledge on the ENFJ. If you want to know more on the ENFJ there are links at the bottom of this post that will take you to articles that will give more info.

Thanks So Much for Reading!!