Dear Canada: Canada's True North & Gandalf's Advice to Being Lost in the Woods.

*I updated this post after Trudeau called for a state of emergency (and then revoked it) in February of 2022 and feel it still applies. *

"Now I turn around and find that I am lost in the woods. North is south, right is left...Now I'm lost in the woods...up till now, the next step was a question of how? I never thought it was a question of "whether." Lost in the Woods Lyrics Frozen 2

Canada has always been true north for me. I have a mug that says, “The world needs more Canada!” In 2021/ 2022, I did not feel that way about my country as a whole. I felt a little lost. Where was my true north?

“The north wind brings forth rain, and a backbiting tongue, an angry countenance.” Proverbs 25:23

The North has a way of giving and taking so suddenly. I believe this gives the many inhabitants a live or die mentality of savouring goodness and seizing unexpected moments quickly. I have always believed we were a resilient lot, due to our ever-changing seasons. I am a 'Northern girl, wild and free with four strong winds to carry me.’ Terri Clark, Northern Girl Lyrics

This is who I am. Although I may complain at times, and it brings its share of pain, it also brings great depth, freedom, raw strength and beauty. Despite its many issues, Canada has always been to me, the True, North, Strong and Free. But as 2020 turned into 2021 and then 2022, it no longer felt like the land of the free or the strong or perhaps even the true? Everyone was claiming truth at the expense of someone else. The news was manipulating populations in the name of protection. Government was corrupt, more so than usual, and many seemed to have lost their inner compass. Instead of helping our neighbours, we were asked to veto them, require proof of one type of living or BEING, and deny anyone not on the "right side of history" (AKA “our side.”) Maybe we were just too tired and run down to care anymore because the grief was encompassing on every level?

“Even the darkness is not dark to You, and the night is as bright as the day.” Psalm 139:12

During this time period, my family and I visited our favourite Heritage site, not knowing it would be our last free outing before restrictions again. I was alone in the old-fashioned apothecary shop with the owner. She cheerily accosted me with, "I adore your outfit, half buns in your hair, and entire look. Did you just have that outfit come together or copy it from somewhere? You kind of look like a brown haired version of that DC antihero Harley Quinn!" I chuckled at her genuine enthusiasm and compliment. As I answered her, my gaze fell on a forgotten crystal, covered in dust and a bit of rust, for sale behind the counter. It was the Northern Star. I collect window crystals and knew, despite the rust in the crevices, that it was going home with me. The owner stated that it seemed to suit me. I smiled at her amongst the old pharmacy bottles, tarot cards, crystals, pill bottles and mirrors. Dust floated into the old wooden slants of the cottage shop. Muffled squeals of the families in the candy shop next door, found their way through knotted crevices, but otherwise it was quiet. Old buildings seem to have a settled sort of hush. I love the sacred, quiet places. Upon seeing pictures on our text feed, my father asked if we were the only ones at the park, but we had been there so many times through the years, we knew how to navigate, so it seemed that we were mostly alone. My husband says magic follows me but I believe I follow it. My True North and definition of magic is ALL THAT IS.

“Out of the north comes golden splendour; around God is awesome majesty.” Job 37:22

Afterwards, my family teased me because I could not stop talking about the magical encounter. The crystal now hangs in my living room window with memories of community; the beauty of strangers’ compliments, magic, and old-fashioned cures and beliefs mixed with the new parts of now; My True North. “…The morning stars sang together and all the sons of God shouted for joy.” Job 38:7

“Keep far from a false charge, and do not kill the innocent and righteous, for I will not acquit the wicked.” Exodus 23:7

Lockdown and a new virus, with varied rules (some unjust and some reasonable rules that protected) were tough on all of us humans. In Canada, what I experienced was extreme division. This land of the chill turned into the land of polarities. As Frodo, in Lord of the Rings, sadly lamented to Gandalf, "I wish it need not have happened in my time." 

I belong to this land. I have cherished its freedom. I am proud that my ancestor from Spain drove cattle from Mexico into the heart of Caribou County. I have often wondered, when I was in the heart of the mountains, if my Indigenous ancestors from the Shuswap tribe traversed similar paths. I am thankful that my German, Danish, English and Romanian ancestors on the other side of my family tree, found their freedom when they were being persecuted in their home countries. They dug roots so that my down home could run deep. They celebrated that their country allowed for the freedoms of worship, community, health rights, and autonomy. They built up generations for the place I now call home. 

“Rescue those who are being taken away to death; hold back those who are stumbling to the slaughter. If you say, “Behold, we did not know this,” does not he who weighs the heart perceive it? Does not he who keeps watch over your soul know it, and he will not repay man according to his work?” Proverbs 24:11-12

Anne Frank, a young teen during WW2 in Europe, may not have seen the end of her war, due to dying from secondary conditions of her imprisonment, but people like her, who told their stories, tried to be grateful, and tried to BE. Their stories became, in a way, everyone's story. By BEING in hard times, even to the end of themselves, and telling their story, they contributed to the world's story. It's brave to BE when a narrative is telling you it is not legitimate. When the larger story says that you are not safe, or that it would be "better for everyone" if you followed this rule and that rule even if you are not sick at all, or worse, flat out wanting you to cease being in every place possible. It is brave to still know you ARE loved and worthy to exist. Growing up we were taught Anne Franks' story as children to show us that even a child, who is curious, wishing to BE, and keeping an innocent journal, had a place in the hero's story. She had no idea the impact she would make just from trying to live. Those that pass onward while doing their best to LIVE always matter. In each big moment in history they were there. But perhaps more importantly, we are here because of each little moment in history. We are here, because each person in our family line chose to make a life, however that would look like, Begetting and Begotten. We are here because they were. We are now in our turn of BEING, because they fought for true north. “Let us do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow’s cause.” Isaiah 1:17

Maybe we are past trusting each other with handshakes, but luckily, I see that the inner concept mostly still stands where I live. Perhaps smaller rural areas take longer to lose true north? I hope so. Some people call it ignorant. "You think I'm an ignorant savage? Well, you've been so many places, I guess it must be so. But still I cannot see, if the savage one is me? How can there be so much that you don't know?" Disney Pocahontas Lyrics

 

“Thus says the Lord: Do justice and righteousness, and deliver from the hand of the oppressor him who has been robbed. And do no wrong or violence to the resident alien, the fatherless, and the widow, or shed innocent blood in this place.” Jeremiah 22:3

Perhaps that is why a lot of those who still have to make a living off the land, tend to know the truths of resiliency, natural cycles of death and rebirth, and responsibility at a deeper level than many who do not? Weather, death, and destruction...the natural landscape takes and takes along with a tiny bright blot of giving. 

The best life, the one most likely to succeed, is one that owns its responsibility but also relies on its community. Ranchers, blue-collar workers, foresters etc. know this. The north with its harsh climate brings untamed beauty. I love my Canadian prairies and their great partner of sky. It can be treacherous in any climate. In mine, I recognize the wild spirits in the strong steel of survivors of the land. These survivors valued the wild and the free. They braved. “With a man there is nothing better than that he should eat and indeed drink and cause his soul to see good because of his hard work.” Ecclesiastes 2:24

Each time history has lost its true north; people eventually have come back to this truth of living; one’s best life is lived where they are FOUND. The skies hold hope, steady inspiration within ever-changing circumstances, and wild freedom. All we have to do is look UP.

“In him we live and move and have our BEING.” Acts 17:28

True north is a guide. It’s a state of being from the ultimate BEING. It's that moment, when all hope is seemingly lost, and the darkness suffocates because the moon is dark and the stars are clouded...and one star brightly becomes a beacon in the stark darkness. "You are not alone," It whispers to the great partner of sky. "There is more, there is always light- it just may hide for awhile. Eventually freedom does surface once again." Unfortunately, often it takes a lot of people losing many things, perhaps even lives, for freedom to be valued once again, for the crystal to become clear in the sun. Fear is never the answer. Truth is warm, real and bright. The world shifts in love. We need to sing with all the colours of the winds and allow them to sweep away the clouds blocking true north again. 

“Seek first his kingdom and righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Matthew 6:33

I loved Disney's Pocahontas as a child, and still do, despite it being called to cancellation by some. To me it represented aspects of my heritage, when many of those stories were lacking as main heroines at the time. I sang Colours of the Wind to my children every night that I tucked them in. The lyrics can eerily apply to our times, "How can there be so much that you don't know? You don't know…" We don't know each path for each person. An example of this would be in the current narrative of health. How do we think we can force the answers or health choices of others when multiple factors such as a history of vaccine anaphylaxis, secondary ingredients etc. can be involved? We don’t own other’s contexts. The majority experience does not always fit the minority. All we can endeavour to do is own our story.

“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

"You think the only people whom are people, are the people who think and look like you." Pocahontas lyrics Does this sound familiar in our own narratives? In 2021, did some of us mistakenly believe that the only people whom were people, were the ones who were on our sides of the lockdowns and vaccination stories? Masks? Laws? Politics? In the end, while of course, our stances matter, all things dissolve. What matters more is how we LOVED.

“There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves punishment. The one who fears has not been perfected in love. We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, “I love God,” but hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen.” 1 John 4:19

"But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger, you'll learn things you never knew, you never knew." Colours of the Wind Lyrics There are so many layers to our stories. There is grief we each carry. There is hope too. "Can you brave what you most fear? Can you brave what the river knows? Where the north wind meets the sea?" All is Found Frozen 2 Lyrics

When the world overwhelms me, I walk outside. The other evening we stopped on the highway on the way home to look at the stars. We felt small yet oddly so special. The sky was speckled with diamonds. I felt dizzy trying to soak it all in. Suddenly, a coyote began howling and had us running for the van, as a large group of howls surrounded us. I tripped over my youngest son when we dove for the doors, because it sounded like a pack was right beside us. Later, in the distance, from the safety of our van window, we heard dogs begin barking and horses neighing, and more howls from miles away. It is in those moments, I realize how close we all are to the precarious nature of BEING. 

"Come run the hidden pine trails of the forest, come taste the sun-sweet berries of the earth, come roll in all the riches all around you and for once never wonder what they're worth…” Colours of the Wind Lyrics When we step into the nature of the land, and see the immense cyclical nature of life and death, the precarious danger mixed with absolute delights, we realize, as people, how much more are we capable of doling out? “First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way.” 1 Timothy 2:1-2

Tolkien’s Gandalf wisely stated, "Many that live deserve death. Some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them Frodo? Do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. Even the very wise can not see all ends.” Because as Pocahontas sings; "We are all connected to each other, in a circle, in a hoop that never ends." 

“What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask.” James 4:1-2

If we are connected to each other, why are we eager to override freewill and autonomy? Why do we wish to enforce our wills on another? Is there another way? “Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.” Hebrews 13:2 

"How high does the sycamore grow? If you cut it down, then you'll never know...we need to sing with all the voices of the mountain, we need to paint with all the colours of the wind..." Colours of the Wind Lyrics

Canada is the home of four strong winds. It has often symbolized freedom, kindness, tenacity, and generous amounts of space. But for awhile, much of it was forgetting. Much of it was lost. Our north star was glimmering in and out. But, "Sometimes you have to get a bit lost to know that you are found..." All is Found Lyrics

“He is wooing you from the jaws of distress to a spacious place free from restriction, to the comfort of your table lade with choice food.” Job 36:16

"There is a mother full of memory, come my darling homeward bound, where all is lost and all is found.” All is Found Lyrics This mother has memory from the mother before her, and the mother before her, and the mother before her, and the mother before her, and on it goes to the great Mother. We are all homeward bound, to death and beyond, whether we wish to be or not. All is lost and all is found in the ever-turning clock of eternity, where time is all experienced as one. But us singular beings currently alive on this earth, we are guided by angels and stars and our predecessors. We must choose which parts we lose and which parts we find. “For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways.” Psalm 91:11

We must find our own paths to True North. I may feel a deep seated grief and "every inch of me is trembling, but not from the cold. Something is familiar, like a dream that I can reach but not quite hold…I can sense you there, like a friend I have always known. I am arriving and it feels like I am home...you have secrets too, but you don't have to hide. Show yourself...it's your turn." Show Yourself lyrics. In our lives, we will have moments when it's our move, our turn and the eyes of the world will be watching. 

Canada has had its past and its own darker secrets. Because it is younger, we have less to bemoan, yet still we all have those places to grieve, but overall? Home is a word where feelings run deep. "You must brave what you most fear. Can you brave what the river knows?...Until the river is finally crossed- you'll never feel the solid ground... You have to get a little lost on your way to being found...She will sing to those that hear, and in her song all magic flows..." All is Found Lyrics

“The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and delivers them.” Psalm 34:7

"I've never felt so certain, all my life I've been torn, but I'm here for a reason, could this be the reason I was born? I have always been so different, normal rules did not apply. Is this the day? Are you the way? I finally find out why?...Here I am...I've come so far... Show yourself! Let me see who you are!" Show Yourself lyrics 

Let me see whom you are, I say to myself first, then to my fellow friends and community members, my province, and Canada and the world at large. Be true, Be kind, Be free, Be wild.

“And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.” Matthew 25:40

So it had come to this moment in my history. I felt seemingly lost, my family and friends felt lost with me, and my country also seemed generally lost in the darkness of the woods. But the good thing about being lost is that there is a possibility of being FOUND.

 Although, indeed, I wish it never had happened in my time...And Gandalf sorrowfully but confidently replies, "So do all whom live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide, all that we have to decide is what to do with the time that has been given to us." 

“And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and his neighbours, saying to them, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep that was lost.’ Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.” Luke 15:6-7

All is found. What shall we do with OUR time? How will we feel and give love and worth?

                                            

*This video was taken after we were in the van and the nearer howls died down but you can still hear them in the distance. My phone does not capture anything at night so the picture is pure dark.

Colours of the Wind- Judy Kuhn Pocahontas

All Is Found- Kacey Musgraves

Show Yourself- Idina Menzel and Evan Rachel Wood Frozen 2

In The Golden Afternoon. Contentment Where the Green Country Grasses of Home Grow.

My soul feels nurtured, my ailments begin to heal and my heart sings of belonging when I sit on my front porch. The neighbourhood is often quiet of traffic or people during certain times of the day which I feel are solely mine. If I sit long enough in one of my favourite places, I can hear and witness all manners of creatures. The chilly prairie breezes carry the sounds before the arrival of four tiny Canadian Geese, freshly out of the nest in a nearby bog, fly in a sloppy V towards me. Their honks are wobbly and tinny compared to those of their parents. I watch them until they are swallowed up by the gray blobs of clouds that threaten rain but can not follow through, due to the sun stealing moments in between spaces. For an instant the sun shines through again and showcases two gophers across from me whistling at each other and chasing in a flurry of tails and frolicking hops. My flowers and birdseed await bumbling bees and tiny birds of flight. I wait silently, hoping they will be found.

The first bee that buzzes to the flowers by my side, after what feels like hours, is plump already. That is a good sign. I smile quietly as I watch it take what needs to be taken. Half an hour later the first brave Chickadee sticks it's beak into the bird feeder before quickly flying away.

The wind pushes more clouds over the sun. For a moment I close my eyes and feel the sun trying to shine it's warmth through. The slight arctic chill in the breeze whips my hair and I suddenly notice that chirping has been silenced. My eyes open to green slanted eyes staring back. The black cat with white paws stalks over our front yard rocks. It assesses me, decides that today it does not want to come over for a pat or a treat, and gingerly hops over our front fence and into the field to see if it can eat more gophers. We see it often on the hunt and it's plump belly showcases it's successes.

I love this space. I can hear crickets chirp from the marsh a few metres away in the evening. I see varying species of birds nest down into the bullrushes. Sometimes at night I can hear the coyotes salute the full moon. On a snowy winter's night, we witnessed a Moose, antlers curvy and majestic, walk down the street, away from our home. I wished to follow. Instead I watched, starry eyed at how magickal normal life can be.

Deer have also pranced into the field and into our vision on quiet summer nights. Snowy owls have hooted their song and skunks have taken up residence nearby. On our back deck we heard rummaging one night, to see the cute little form of a black and white skunk. Shielded from a possible spray inside, we had the joy of watching the adorable creature for an hour. Luckily, it moved onward, but these kind of moments make me infinitely thankful for where I find myself at home in.

This HOME of BEING feels like John Stamos'* smile. Who can resist that warmth of feeling? If I find a person who can not abide him, then I wonder if some of their innocent sense of being is lost. On days where the world feels too much, I sit on my deck and I am reminded that the richest beauty is often in the simplest things. I still have the freedom to sit outside and soak up all that is. The tulips are popping up, as we finally are seeing green in our northern land of snow and ice. It's a short, precious season. 

My husband recently remarked, "We have ten trees in our front yard alone. That is more than our whole street has." (Actually our surrounding ten homes have a total of two trees.) I asked him if it would be considered socially inappropriate to offer to buy, plant and take care of for the first season, one tree per neighbour. He said it probably would, which baffled me. They could choose the spot, but he said such things are not really accepted as offers in neighbours. This made me infinitely sad. I love my trees and would gladly help my neighbourhood cultivate more for the birds to roost, the caterpillars and ants to climb, and the wind to rustle. 

One of the greatest beauties to give the world is to plant a tree or some flowers. All one really needs is the ground and some good intentions, a bit of water and caring time. Yet, the riotous colours of flowers feeding the outer ecosystem seem to be be generally undervalued. Luckily nature has a way. It's favourite way seems to be the hearty heavy hitter of the herb/flower world; Dandelions. Yet, there is a spray solely for it. Isn't it that the way we sometimes go? We forget that things planted can offer more than a sunny bright patch of beauty, but also herbal healing teas, nurturing presence and the first important food for bees. Instead we spray for the hopes of a perfectly manicured grass patch that soaks more water than it should, and does not feed the ecosystem as much as a bunch of diverse weeds, herbs, flowers, shrubs and trees would. 

My heart awakens in the elements of nature. While I am not an outdoor sports gal at all, I am one with the cultivated, yet still wild within itself, nature surrounding me. When the sun comes out from a cloud in it's full warmth and the breeze enhances the scents of wild roses, I am transported back to my grandmothers home as a child. She cultivated gorgeous gardens stocked with wild flowers and purposefully planted schemes of the imagination. I would be sent outside to play, but my favourite thing to do was walk around and around from the front yard to the back. I would touch the stone wall on the side of the house and smell the yellow buttercups. The grand ship sitting in the neighbours yard was close enough to touch, and lent a Peter Pan type energy to my imaginative world. I would talk to the flowers believing that little sprites were listening. I would gather pine cones to make a circle under the large conifers. If I sat down on the soft patches of grass, my eyes would eventually find the clothesline full of linens flapping in the breeze. The light laundry smell warming in the sun would fill me with peace. All was right in the world when I was at Grandma's  house. I did not realize until my thirties, that I had the gardening bug in me as well. I thought it was just my husband's interests, but it turns out I was connected from a wee babe. I belong to the big skies where hours upon hours stretch out with full possibilities. In a short span of time the sky can change from foggy gray to patches of azure to pink ocean depths or to a world enveloped in silvery flakes.From season to season, the skies continue to inspire, enhance and remind me, both of how large I am in my world, and how very small. A blanket of stars is often the last sight I see in my window before I sleep. Upon waking it's the brilliance of drastic changes and possibilities reflected in the sky. The symbols of freedom, heritage and passionate, ever changing spirits.

From dusk onward the moon starts it's hidden path into darkness. That moon, unapologetic, shows off it's full face to the world, nude and resplendent without shame. Paradoxically, the moon allows itself to shrink into dark shadows. It leaves an air of mystery as it slowly circles inward. It's cycle comforts, hides and brings to light. It has witnessed darkness and light, shadow and sight. Yet, it never fails to show up in any state. The moon is a brave part of nature. A instigator of tides and schedules, but also a spiritual nature that causes chaos and moods. The moon just IS. From century to century it has witnessed the love and hate. It has shone down on lovers in the darkness and crimes of the centuries. It has anchored the earth and contributed to weather. It is steady yet not. A magical guide that is explored and scientific. A paradox. A beacon.

 The skies hold hope, steady inspiration within every changing circumstances, and wild freedom. Looking into the stars, following the moon path, gazing into afternoon sun clouds, or being enveloped by a heaven full of fluffy flakes steals breath from the lungs and pumps it back into the heart. From dusk to dawn, inspiration arrives simply by walking to my window and looking out over open fields and stretching skies. As Owl City croons so aptly, "Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere..."

An hour flew by when my husband and I snuggled on our front porch mattress, basking in the sun. My head was nestled on his chest and it reminded me of a song we used to listen to all the time, so I put it on repeat, as the soothing gait of McGraw filled the hush of a sunny afternoon. "Creek goes rippling by, I've been barefooting all day with my baby, Brown leaves have started falling, Leading the way, I like it best just like this, Doing nothing all the way, So let's lay down in the tall grass, Dreaming away,And all I wanna do is let it be and be with you, and watch the wind blow by, And all I wanna see is you and me go on forever, like the clear blue sky, Slowly, there's only, you and I, And all I want to do is watch the wind blow by."- Tm Mcgraw

One of my favourite pastimes and dates with my guy, is to drive in the backroads of the country. We find nooks that are ours alone to spend time how we please. We have found little ponds with cattle grazing, a buffalo farm nearby, and dips of almost impassable off roads filled with rocks and shrubs. There are no hidden cameras, GPS often does not work, and we are alone with nature. 

Nature is how, besides my relationships and inside my home, I find meaning in the hardest of times. My pain is often lessened by sitting for a few hours outside in the sunshine. Petrichor soothes as droplets hit the window pane. At night, if I am having a light attack of pain, I will make my way out to marvel at the stars, and hope to catch a glimpse of the wolf in the moon. I feel the protection along with the wildness. Nature is full of contrasts and paradoxes...just like me. It's deeply flawed and absolutely horrid at times, and YET it can be so breathlessly beautiful with raw intensity that one has to catch a breath. It is full of extremes. No climate suits my persona more. I love it and hate it at times when it can also be a source of pain. The beauty is a raw, real sort of haunting that reaches deep and latches it's roots down into the system of life. The inspiration rises from the dirt just like the Rockies rise from tumbled trees. The depressing aspects are wiped clean like the winds forming the HooDoos. I love these wild spaces . It’s the fairytale full of peril and majesty. It’s the garden where life began to teem with thriving beauty. It’s the simple cottage cultivated for comfort in the unpredictable landscapes of life. It’s a loving grandmas home where the freedom to roam is not only safe but rife with the spirit of wonderland. “You can learn a lot of things from the flowers... all in the golden afternoon.” It’s my place in this world yet also anyone else’s who cares to choose it- that individual collective seems to sum up the most sacred within all. 

*If you like John Stamos- his new show Big Shot on Disney Plus- is becoming a family favourite of ours. 

Song Choices: Golden Afternoon- Alice- Dianna Panton version is lovely.  Where the Green Grass Grows- Tim McGraw, Watch the Wind Blow By- Tim Mcgraw

Dear Canada: Is this What the Land of The Free Should Look like?

Recently, my parents neighbour was speaking to my mother about the country he grew up in, "We escaped our Communist country for Canada. The changes were drastic. The ability to be free was rich. This became our new home as we raised children and grandchildren here, and yet, here I am again, in many situations that I found myself in when younger in the communist country. This is not the Canada I know. This leaves me deeply saddened."

Questions I have for Canadians in Strict Provinces;

How did it come to this? How is it, that California, which had quite the strict laws, is now more lenient in some aspects, than most provinces in Canada for protocols? 

How is Texas doing after their differing stances on protocols? Why is Texas not spoken of more often...sure it's cases surged a bit at first, but so far, they have gradually gone down, which is natural in the state of contagious diseases similar to the influenza. Yes, Coronavirus tends to have more symptoms and stronger infection rates, but this is not Ebola that we are dealing with. Yet, the fear is the equivalent due to news media. 

Is Belgium's latest law case against Covid protocols legitimate? Why or why not?

Why is it that one news outlet is being celebrated as trustworthy above any other? What happened to agenda free press (or at least a degree of professional investigative reporting)?

Since when is healthcare in conjunction with the criminal code? Should healthcare and the state be intertwined even in a health crisis? Especially with the actual statistics? 

Should the Minister of Healthcare be able to get the police force to shut down places of worship if they have not had one single case for months? Is logic being applied to many of the rules? 

Before each holiday (Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter) cases are shown to increase. A couple schools in the city regions remarked that the government gave them rapid testing kits for all their students a few weeks prior to Easter and the case count went up. Is this a co- incidence?

Have you actually compared death rates to infectious rates? Do you notice disparity? Do you notice that the death rate, is in fact, not as alarming as it is constantly shouted to be?

My Grandpa's nephew received the Covid Vaccine and died within a few days. There was nothing different in his schedule. He was perfectly healthy until his son found him and the family knew it was from the vaccine. Which CAN happen but the problem is that the autopsy report stated, "Cause of death unknown." We have now heard of this in a few cases. It is one thing to honestly report the side effects and death rates, but it is entirely another to use the benign, "Cause Unknown" conveniently when the cause is known by those closest to the situation. Why is this happening? 

As A Canadian Citizen:

Are you taking responsibility for your freedom of rights in conjunction with respect for the virus and the people around you?

Are you bravely speaking up on the unpopular, yet quite prevalent notion, that there is discrimination against the disabled, the poor, the sick and general freedoms for all people groups with many of the Covid protocols?

Recently we were at a local shop when a disabled women in a wheelchair on oxygen came in with her partner. Her partner was wearing a mask but she was not. She was detained for more than 45 minutes. I went and offered her a face shield but she stated that even that makes it hard for her to breathe. I confirmed with a health nurse I know, whom used to work in the Lung ICU department, that with many of her patients, even having something near their face, would make them panic and for many their oxygen levels are already low and it DOES make a difference. 

The way other people glared this lady down, shows the current state of our culture. The manager was as kind as he could be, but he kept stating he was following orders. Isn't that a statement we often find in some of the greatest travesties in history? Should our professionals in places of business be enforcers of law?Are we now entering times where ableism is an acceptable practice? Is it alright to ban differently abled people and those with medical conditions to not shop in your store? If stores keep banning people who legitimately can not wear masks due to oxygen or other medical conditions (even if they are complying with distance when possible, hand washing, and not entering the building when sick etc) then that store is complicit in participating in dehumanization. Laws can expire, but how we treat our fellow human beings should be based on individual context. A Grocery store is not a police state, but a place to get groceries. The workers at any store should be first and foremost servers and activators at their jobs which is providing groceries instead of policing people to follow government rules (which also have nuances and exceptions.) Safety can be a concern with washing etc, however,  judgement, following people around stores, revoking memberships and banning people who need to enter to shop, goes beyond the necessary job. What used to feel like a community place to shop, now feels like a judgemental place where the servers are exerting power over consumers. I would ask all businesses to reconsider some of their current actions and policies. At the very least, we hope that the staff can be reminded of their jobs as employees, instead of officers of the law. 

My husband talked to the manager. The lady still was not allowed in, but she couldn't be left by herself and the man needed to get their groceries. They found it difficult to navigate the online shopping. I found it unbelievable that an exception would not be made. They were keeping their distance. She was quite disabled. She left in tears. I wrote a letter to head office...and received no response. Is this what we want Canadians to be known by? Are we not known, world wide, for our general politeness? For our ability to be peacemakers and follow the spirit of the law instead of the letter of the law?

I wear face shields, because I find that people are kinder when they see my full face. People are becoming meaner behind their masks. They are outspoken, volatile and often cruel. Part of the rage is actually the lack of clean air going to their brains and helping with compassionate perspectives taking. We can also attribute much of it to human nature. When we hide behind our Facebook opinions instead of bravely having the real conversations (it is one thing if you are doing both but quite another if you are hypocritically only engaging in one) or when half of our face is masked, we feel freer to be less compassionate. Blood pressure can also rise breathing in our own carbon dioxide  for long periods of time which contributes to mood. Lack of seeing facial cues, full smiles, and reading people's lips are also contributing to the general lack of well being of the population. Discrimination is becoming prevalent against those whom are deaf, hard of hearing, or have varied health concerns. I feel, at least with a face shield, I can minimize these effects yet, still make those comfortable whom are very afraid of the virus and rely on their masks to save them.

Maybe part of the problem is Canadian's innate politeness? Maybe we feel that by following all the rules, we are being kind? Is kindness ever cowardice or a lack of spine to speak on tougher topics or is kindness always true?

What if some of these laws are becoming tyrannical? What if many of them are not based on logic? What if many of them are contradictory in nature or even contrary to some science? What if the stats are stated in a manipulative way? Statements like, "We are all in this together" are common psychological tactics. Which isn't always necessarily a bad thing at times, but it is crucial to actually be wary of these tactics and understanding of how many statements work to convince the mind of what is right. There are MANY layers to this.

I recently told a friend that we must pick our battles. I believe there is a virus that is more contagious and can have equal or sometimes worse consequences to a bad bout of influenza...especially in the elderly and those whom are compromised. It is not something to play around with. However, I also believe this is probably here to stay, and we need to learn to deal with it and live with it as we did the Influenza, which is still risky each time a person battles it. We need to incorporate hygiene and healthy food/ exercise/ sleep into our schedules and focus on immunity. Healthy immunity also has a social component. When we are socially engaged with others, our immune systems generally becomes stronger, we live longer, and we are less stressed. While that does not mean that we forget to wash or stay home when sick, what it DOES mean is that we need people. Even a year without seeing people in person, changes the brain and body make up of a person. 

What do I believe the battle of every Canadian Citizen should be? 

We should be, first and foremost, fighting for our freedom. We should have the CHOICE to see people in our own homes carefully. We should have the CHOICE to visit our loved ones with dementia in the hospital. The elderly should have the CHOICE to see people, even if it means their lives could possibly be cut shorter. I have talked to many elderly people who have stated they know that a cold, or influenza or food poisoning etc could wipe them out, but they would rather die living well and with the company of their loved ones than alone. Some would rather not see people and I respect that. It should be a CHOICE. Let me state again that this is NOT Ebola. The sad fact is, that many people are dying alone when they could be dying with loved ones which is a much kinder death. The culprit is the protocols. We can find ways to make this mostly safe. 

No Democratic Government, even in it's emergency state, should be allowed to criminally enforce people away from family members, neighbours and loved ones. Especially during this sort of crisis. Many people can choose not to see other people and that should be respected...but each person has different needs and a one size does not fit all. There is so much more to life than sickness or fear of sickness. And this is coming from someone with Autoimmune Diseases that has to be especially paranoid about this type of thing. But CHOICE matters. Our law enforcement should not be called upon to enforce these ridiculous rules. They should be where the true crimes are...and many genuine crimes are going up. Why are we not seeing this injustice? 

If anything, it would be reasonable to cap households at 20 people inside, since it is an unusual time, but that should be as far as a Democratic Government should go. Health care is not the main government in office. Many were not trained in political decisions and these 'leaders' were not voted in by the people. While they have their expertise to give, people should have the option of how far they need to listen. While basic respect is needed, compliance is not. 

I have talked to several Doctors, Nurses and Social workers...it is rare that I have found one whom believes this is what our society should look like for this type of disease. Due to the political component of it and the volatile society involved that is being brain washed by news 24/7, most of these people are not listened to, if they speak out. 

Ironically, 70 percent of the people I have talked to in cities, towns and places all over Canada and in the States, do not believe such strict measures are effective or needed. Yet, where are these people? We, the people, elected these officials. We can demand more from them. We can ask that our voices be heard. It is not okay to give up freedom and liberty in exchange for safety and health. There is a balance to be struck. So far we are leaning on a teeter toter and eventually one of these things is going to go flying out of our grasp. That is not something to take lightly. There can be DIRE consequences to seemingly little times of stricter measures. It is one thing if we stop this now. It is quite another if we allow this to go on. The call for balance should be heeded.

As I stated before, there is a difference between following the letter of the law and the spirit of the law.

 The spirit of the law should be this: 

We care and respect all people groups. We wish for our populous to be as healthy as possible but health is not just physical. We can incorporate respect. We can make different rules for different situations. Certain people will want more hibernation, while others need more social time. We must trust that most adults can make well informed, logical, responsible decisions. They are not Kindergarteners in need of a forced time out. We must care for the elderly and vulnerable...and sometimes that means BEING WITH THEM, while other times it means staying away. There is not a one size fits all. We must exercise healthy habits. We must wash and stay home when we feel sick to be nourished by those in our community whom love us.

In contrast to that...the letter of the law is unbending, non contextual, does not take multiple factors into account, can be discriminatory, authoritarian and prone to prejudice. It is boxed thinking in the name of peace and goodness. It is toted as justice but is not grounded in ethics, rationality, equity and fairness. If we are only focusing on ONE aspect to the detriment of all else- is it JUST?

My heart weeps for my country. For the civil division and daily injustice I witness. I am deeply saddened that friends are not free to have meaningful, yet opposing discussions. I am torn apart that Dementia patients are being left alone, without their people to touch their hands and remind them they are loved. I am broken for those who are poor who can not afford to stay home when they feel a tickle in their throats. I am in grief for the grandparents whom have not held their new grandchildren or died without any family contact this year. I am worried for the children that are growing up in masked society. I am concerned at the level of acquiescence most teens have for government and laws. Teens are supposed to be the rebels in society. It is a natural stage for the younger people to question the latest laws and not give complete obedience... yet due to social media and 'together' slogans, teens are choosing instead to comply, obey and exchange freedom for safety. This is not natural. There are many nuances to this...but most of all, the injustice of many of these "laws" in the name of "peace" have sent shards of unbelief into my soul. 

Where is the liberty? Where is the freedom? Where is the true love? It is a possibility to be relatively safe yet live. Death comes for us all. While we must prevent what we can to a degree, if we followed that logic we would have to go after the number one killer: Obesity. Are we going to tell people what they can and can not eat in their homes and enforce it? Are we going to enforce exercise in every home and tag those who do not comply or bar them for entry in restaurants? That would be ridiculous and against multiple rights. Many would call that discriminatory...and yet, is this not how someone with a cold is now treated? Is this not how someone who does not mask is treated? We are allowing the government to tell us how to behave and interact with other people and whom we can see in our own homes and businesses to a micro degree. How are we not seeing the parallels? Where has logic and rationality gone? 

Dear Canadians,

Does this feel like the land of the free? Are these these the stories we want the rest of the world to see? Is this the type of treatment, laws and protocols that we stand for in our young country?? Please help keep our land glorious and free. It is possible to achieve this while still respectfully staying home when sick.

 Song Choice: Wavin' Flag

  

Home. Being Canadian. Summer Solstice.

Midsummer sweetness is about savouring the celebratory aspects of life. Living to the fullest while acknowledging the life doesn't "owe" anyone anything- so the delights are that much more profound. Sometimes people or society ask us to hold back our fierce love of life and we silence ourselves or try to squeeze ourselves into tiny compartments of BEING. We forget it's our ONE life. Being grateful does not negate hardship. If we can, living fiercely is our best gift to LIFE. I try to find the ripeness in life, amongst health scares, oven fires, mini house fire scares, water furnace break downs, anxiety, world issues, weather conundrums, extended family struggles, marriage work and children's needs. Inside the energy of beauty, love, joy and the focus on the positive is where I want to aim to spend most of my mentality when I can. I will readily admit I am in a legitimate depression and struggling with some things, and at first, it took a lot of effort to do anything or see the good. But after a daily habit of the "next right thing"...I still work in energy deficit...but my ability to see the beautiful is getting more poignant and my fortitude to rise to the energetic occasion is taking less time. There is struggle. There is beauty. There is trauma. There is grace.

It's knowing my chosen partner is beside me every night and taking joy in his sleeping face and being in constant awe of his facial perfection. (Also trying not to be envious of his looks as he doesn't even have to try!)

The daily joy is found in the preparation for Summer Solstice Day! One of my favourite afternoons this summer was preparing Rosemary Gluten Free Biscuits, Herb Roast, Fruit infused Juice, and Summer Solstice cake with my children.

I have taken a hermitage lately. I am off of most social media (deleting apps and checking in only once a month for the summer.) My creativity has gone into overdrive again which it tends to do after built up stress or when I actually have more time to myself. I love the little things in life. I love gardening (especially with my roses), hugging trees, re decorating, dusting crystals, preparing baking, ordering solar lights online, shopping for groceries, snuggling my children, loving my husband and taking back roads empty for miles with the music blasting, walking to my parents for quick hello, visiting old and new friends via email or in person when time permits, and talking to kind costumer service agents. (That last one is weird but A LOT of my time lately has been dealing with costumer service in all industries due to break downs and orders etc and I am finding that I am enjoying many of the kind people which is another shock!)

I decided that we needed to build a few structures in our backyard including a stone wall. We had a bunch of free stone we need to use up so why not? Luckily my husband is excellent at literally building my dreams. I decorate, stain, and help with whatever parts I can and then read to him while he works. My children will participate in heavy lifting and learning how to use all the tools etc. I LOVE working together. My family may grumble at times but I think they mostly like it too. Probably not as much as me. People often ask me how I have fun. THIS IS MY FUN:

Since I discovered oil based paint pens, my eldest son ( he is my drawing artist) and I have a new list of things to do!

I also love my Seasonal Holidays. My sister usually joins us for the marking of these occasions. This time my mother and her crafted summer wreaths for her contribution to the feasting day. 

My mother knowingly joked that my house was too full inside/decked out that I had to move outside. Actually, that was exactly it. I wanted to decorate and I could not find a free space that I felt like changing, so I looked outside and thankfully it's a season where I can expand the magic. I now have five mirrors in my backyard. I love it!

We have had an unusual rainy season with loads of mosquitoes. Our town also experienced unusual winter kill on many of our trees and plants so working outside has been interesting! However, we have found work arounds and bits of time between weird weather patterns. The last few weeks I have concentrated on paint/ stain touch ups, solar light and rose maintenance, weeding, transplanting and creating a fairy land of differing traditions into our landscape. My husband found two maple trees on discount begging to be taken home so we now have our Canadian symbols sitting on either side of our front steps. I was so upset that our little pine trees died but the Maple trees are their own beauty. I am finding that what feels like a curse can often be a blessing and what can feel like a blessing sometimes is a curse. When my son woke to the sound of our water being pumped out of our water boiler, I thought curse. Turns out it was good it happened and we had a quick, fairly cheap fix in what could have been way worse. I love the town we live in and how each business is attainable, friendly and unconcerned about Covid in many ways. It's such a beautiful aspect to just BE. (Of course hand washing and light social distancing happens but it's business as usual and many people are living out rich lives due to this mentality. No one is sick.) My kids have had their friends over and are happily adjusting back to life in community.

Tomorrow is Canada day. I loved that DISNEY PLUS honoured it in their own small way:

Seeing the Maple leaf always makes me smile. I adore my country. While it may have some past mishaps and has it's own con list, overall, it is a place that has offered freedom to most who have sought it out. It is a place that gives wide open spaces and camera free drives for hours. The landscape changes drastically an hours drive away. There are gorgeous streams, mountains, prairies, and badlands. We are free to worship as we choose, school as we choose, and love whom we choose. Our businesses provide prompt service in emergencies or when our power or utilities go out. Our weather may be crazy and we may have 8 months of winter, but the seasons are that much more poignant. We have mostly equal opportunities for all who seek to work or BE. Our history has some injustices, but as far as country history goes, the years of remedying injustice equal out to far less than most other places in the world, some of which took centuries or more to change. This is also because we are one of the newest countries in that regard. Canada is still a baby. It's important to celebrate the good and the victories.

My grandpa is Aboriginal. He grew up with some racism discrimination. He went unjustly to jail for punching a man who committed a grave crime against my grandmother. Yet, he still loves Canada and what he was able to have in this country. He still respects the police force- he did blame the one bad cop, terrible guard, and the one discriminatory judge but he liked many of the other friends on the force that he made during his time. (I do not know if I would have the same balance if I went through what he did but I admire it.) Does he have issues with some aspects and carry trauma from his experiences? Yes, but I love what he has taught me about the place that I live. I love that he still take great pride in his country. It was an example of both the pros and cons of my country from a young age. He gave a realistic, sad glimpse but provided a larger story full of determination, opportunity, and work ethic for me to honour and cherish.

On Father's Day we stopped in to see him and my father, while providing breakfast for my husband's dad. These men all helped us become who we are today. We are thankful for their roles in our life. It is not always easy to see eye to eye on some aspects and we all have our histories, but there is great beauty in so many aspects of our relationships too. 

My dad cracked up when we gave him two trees, one of which was very Charlie Brown ish and my son serendipitously drew a Charlie Brown card (purely coincidence but my father noticed the similarities right away!)

I love that near where I live tacky dinosaurs are on Grocery store walls. I love that there is disinfectant everywhere but in most places there are also pretty lax rules again. I love that people are semi careful but also living, smiling and greeting each other again. I love that in one store I see people from all different countries, skin tones and abilities being polite and kind to one another. It's not the exception but the norm. Cruelty is the exception.



I am hermiting into my surroundings. Because I see more good than bad with my own eyes, which is vastly different from what media/news is feeding me. I have had my share of strife, cruelty and personal differences in the last month, but I still see the beauty of the human spirit everywhere.

While we are seeing more people than we did for months, it is still with plenty of alone time in between. I am allowing myself to sleep longer, skip social stuff, and stay off world news. I am still detoxing. But good food, laughter, nightly tuck ins and fabulous birthday celebrations help.




Beauty is in the moment that my grandmother goes through her jewellery with my daughter and tries to hide her tears. It's when they both lovingly touch each piece. Or when my daughter comes back home and bawls because she remembers Grandma wearing and cherishing it all and hates that she has to part with it now to get ready for her next phase of the life cycle. Beauty is in grandma making sure each of her grandkids and her last living daughter have what they need for memories.

Beauty is my mother showing up with lunch ingredients on the last day of the month because our fridge and pantry are always empty on the last three day’s ( we wait for our cheque to put our bank account back up from forty cents till next month again.) It's her enlisting my daughter to help because she knows I had 4 hours sleep. They allow me to "blog rest" while they work.

Beauty is in my therapist sending me the poem "If" by Rudyard Kipling (*below) because it reminds him of me. He encourages me to frame it on my wall to remind me not to lose my both sides perspectives even if it gives me more grief from others...it's worth it for my life.

Beauty is in my family. Sometimes I forget to truly look at their faces. To notice the freckles, smile crinkles, gap teeth or pointy smile...all parts of them I love. Aspects individual to them that remind me of the fragility and strength of life.

Beauty is preparing my body and treating it as part of myself. It's allowing rest days but also remembering to adorn, pamper and even restrict at times for an outcome I wish to achieve. It's to see myself as part of nature. Beauty is to see my body as not just a vessel but a large aspect of the way I am in the world and to honour it.

Beauty is my window crystals always begging me to take a moment and stare. I watch them sparkle. I look beyond them at the ever changing sky. And I find that I am breathing deeply again. My eyes fill with gratitude. I can't seem to get enough and at the same time it is everything.

To my fellow Canadians: Happy Canada Day- Savour the parts of home you love! To the rest of the world: May you have aspects of Summer that bring you HOME.

Song Choice: Blossom- James Taylor  (This song has been on repeat lately. Love it.)

If...
Rudyard Kipling
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son! 

(Written at a time when women were treated differently- luckily that has changed so just translate. Words still are amazing and sentiments.)